I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
