At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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