Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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