I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
