so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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