How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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