so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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