Whod you bang
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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