even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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