guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
