Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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