Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize