What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
