I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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