Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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