Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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