They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
