yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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