My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize