whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
