It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
