All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
