If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
