remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My balls are so social today.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There r osticjed everywhere
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
