Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
