last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
