So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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