He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
