We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
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At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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