I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
