Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
