yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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