hell yes lets make some ravioli
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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