Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
