Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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