I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Randomize
