i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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