So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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