"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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