when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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