that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize