The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
