Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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