yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
