playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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