If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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