There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
