How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
