they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize