aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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