And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize