i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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