There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Never underestimate the power of titties
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