just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
