Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
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i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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