mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
