If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
