His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
